Men from Mars, Women from Who Knows Where!

My wife has given me numerous hours of laughter. We have a ‘Book of Mandy’ in the house to log all the ridiculous things she says.

On Thursday there was a full moon in the sky as we were watching TV, it reminded me of one of her classic moments. While driving in Spain one summer there was a full moon, it was very bright and big in the Spanish sky. My wife saw it and made me almost crash at a high speed with the comment – “Wow, that moon is massive, are we closer to it in Spain”!!!! Now you understand I hope some of the things that must go on in her mind, hence the titile of today’s blog.

So, back to Thursday and the full moon, she then asked me “Is the moon the same size as the Earth”, and to top that off “Is the Moon as big as the Sun”. After a few minutes of hysterics on the settee I managed to answer her questions and had to use a picture of the Solar System to explain. What went on in her Science classes at school?

Things couldn’t get anymore stupid could they?………

My sister and her boyfriend popped round last night, so naturally I was telling them about my wife’s latest ‘outburst’. To which my sister then came out with an all time classic. She said, “I don’t understand what you’re saying, the sun is the moon isn’t it”. After I had choked on my tea and her boyfriend had wet himself with laughter she topped it all by saying. “No, what I mean is the sun turns into the moon at night”!!!!!

It took a demonstration with an orange, and two apples to explain it all to them. When I got to a crescent moon and the cause of its shape, my wife and sister gasped in wonder “What, you mean that balck curve is the edge of planet blocking the sun, that’s awesome”.

I think we ought to hunt down both of their respective science teachers and ask them what the hell happened in their classes. So where do women originate from? or are my wife and sister aliens from another planet?

Hope you giggled a bit at their ridiculousness!

On a lighter note, Man United to thump Chelsea this weekend,and a vast sum of £5 has gone on Regal Parade in the Ayr Gold Cup. Has anyone been wathcing the rugby, no idea what’s happening.

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Football is Dispatched?

The world of the modern age footballer. Shit loads of money for not doing a great deal, an arm full of ridiculous tattoos, some half -wit girl with no self dignity on their arm, and a feeling of untouchability.

Oh how I craved this job as a youngster, nothing else would I, or did I want to do. That is until I realised after a few unsuccessful trials that I wasn’t good enough. I sit here now counting my blessings. As much as I love the game, and have been a player, coach, manager and spectator I despise some of these modern day muppets. I say the word ‘some’ as thankfully the sporting grace and dignity of by-gone era’s is still maintained in some of todays players.

Watching Dispatches last night on Channel 4, left me flabbergasted. I hope this is just sensationalised journalism and not true. To think that the governing body of our national sport turns a blind eye to drug taking and dishes out minimal fines ‘to protect the integrity of the game, players and spectators’ makes me feel sick. Not only are these players pampered, over paid pre-madonnas they now seem to be beyond persecution. Athletes, rugby players and all other professional sportspeople must be furious. How many times do we read that footballers commit crimes? Rape, murder by dangerous driving, drink driving, the list goes on. Funny then that they have this swagger of being ‘untouchable’. Then watching last night’s programme I can’t believe what I watched. The FA cancel drug tests because the player isn’t at training, they don’t view tests that are positive in mid-week as bad because it’s not a match day!!!What the bloody hell is going on!

The truth needs telling, of course these guys are out there taking cocaine, and whatever else they feel with boost their bursting egos. Even a current player suggested this happened, why they bloody hell do they get away with it. They are supposed to be role models to our younger generation aren’t they, if so, I say lets have the drug takers names, lets ban them and show our younger generation that drugs and cheating never prevails.

If the results of the programme do come to light as being true there needs to be a upheaval of the governing bodies, and the people in charge. The guilty footballers, the club doctors and managers who turn a blind eye need to be swiftly deposed from their roles.

Of course, this won’t happen, the football world has its own laws and rules, look at the recent elections to FIFA, did they not contain stories of bribery and money making. If the top of the pyramid is corrupt no wonder the people below get away with it. One word sums up today’s world of football – FARCICAL. I may even now start to watch rugby!

The Blogging World and Rugby

After reading vast amounts of blogs via my twitterati, I thought why not give it a try. As my brain got thinking of what to blog about it became apparent my stand point on most things in this world relate to the world of sport. More recently to the world of golf.

So Im going to attempt to publish my views on the sporting world on a weekly basis and see how many of you fellow sportsmen or women I can cajole to read my views and either agree or disagree. Important note here, Liverpool fans you may want to be ready for tirades of abuse as the football season progresses.

So to commemorate my first blog today’s topic is the sport of Rugby.

Over the next seven weeks we are to be inundated with hour after hour of the rugby world cup. Joy I hear the Welsh say! Of course you would be very happy with this, it is after all the only sport you are any good at! From my humble opinion I do not see the point of the sport. For the following reasons :

1) Does anyone know and understand the rules?

2) Why do they keep kicking the ball away to the opposition, surely this defeats the object, you want to keep the ball.

3) Why play rugby when football is around?

There are of course many of my friends who love the game and argue for hours with me about its beauty, excitment and purpose in the sporting world. Sorry, I just don’t see it. So over the next seven weeks I may find myself for the first time ever turning a channel over that is showing sport and searching for something to entertain me. I couldn’t even care less how England do, the sport means zip to me, and as a fellow rugby hater once said to me – “it’s simply shite”.

So all you rugby fans enjoy and feast on the next seven weeks, but please do not text me, tweet me, or even dare talk to me about it, as simply I couldn’t care less.