A simple blog tonight, these are the things that really get on my nerves!
1) Untidyness – according to my wife I have OCD so now you can see why it irritates me.
2) Bad manners – why not say please and thank you.
3) Right Turners – you’re at a junction and want to turn right and the on coming traffic signal to turn right and don’t let you go.
4) Bad drivers – too slow, brake at everything arrrrggggh!
5) Spongers – people who drain our country with their benefits and have never or will ever attempt to work.
6) Louis Spence – I have no words to describe the man!
7) Soaps – why? What’s their point? The same far fetched storylines, the same actors who leave, then return again.
8) and my biggest pet hate – CELEBRITY TV – who cares about watching two bit, think they’re famous, egotistical twerps.
I enjoy lots of things too, but felt in a moaning mood!
I’m reasonably new to this blogging world, so imagine my excitement when I found out I was tagged in a meme (had to look up what the hell it meant!). So a huge thank you goes to SAHDandproud for tagging me in his attempt.
So, I like to find a picture that depicts my feelings when blogging. As I’m on a new adventure and was being set a challenge I figured I better swing into action!
So, without further ado, here goes. Firstly the rules must be set out, and like Moses sat high upon Mt Sinai, you must FOLLOW these rules or risk eternal damnation by the blogging world. I beg you heed these few pointers!
1) You must post the rules.
2) You must post 12 facts about yourself.
3) You must answer the questions that the person who tagged you has set and then create 12 more yourself for who you tag.
4) Tag 12 people and link them in your blog.
5) Let them know you’ve tagged them.
I may be in for a flogging off the blogger gods already as I do not know of 12 bloggers yet, so I may feel their wrath when I only tag 3 people. There are many challenges in life!
Onwards we go, and twelve little facts about me.
1) I hold a UEFA B coaching badge and used to coach Sheffield United Academy teams which I loved.
2) At the age of 16 I used to play darts for the local Social Club mens team. It taught me alot about drinking and about choosing the right pub to have a drink in. I once won a match by ‘checking out’ on 135. I hit treble twenty, then the 25 (outer bullseye) and then the bullseye! The sulking bloke who I beat didn’t even shake my hand, he stormed out swearing “Jammy, little b*****d”! It probably was jammy but who cares, sportsmanship right!
3) I have a tattoo on my right shoulder of a red devil. People find it hilarious as it has a pair of underpants on, I was only 17!
4) I am a PE teacher, yet have 9 GCSE’s, 2 A Levels, a 2:2 degree and a post graduate certificate in Leadership and Management, hopefully dispelling any myths that PE teachers are thick!
5) I am a complete tidyness freak, my wife thinks I have OCD. I may well have, whenever the kids have finished paying with their toys I have to pack them away.
6) I really enjoy ironing! I find it quite relaxing.
7) I have a neat party trick in that I can spin a basketball on my finger and keep it going for over two minutes.
8) I have a golfing handicap of 16.
9) My professional aim in life is to become a Headteacher before I’m 45 years old. I’m an Assistant Headteacher now at 33, so nearly there!
10) I have a pet dog called Freddie who is a cocker spaniel. He’s a complete nutter, yet is fantastic with the kids and is a real cutey!
11) I have without any doubt Arachnophobia, if a spider so much as moves near me I run off screaming like a girl.
12) One day I am convinced that I am going to win the National Lottery.
So, time to answer the questions set for me by @SAHDandproud
1) If you wanted to be in a band, ever, which one would it be?
It would have to be Take That – the reasons are easy, they are now all multi-millionaires and have basically had millions of women scream at them and would do their every wish if asked for the last 20 years.
2) What’s the most useless thing you’ve ever bought while being a parent?
We didnt buy something, we acquired it lets say. We were ‘given’ a house for the garden, yet had to dismantle it and then basically re-build it all as it was rotten. It is lovely as you can see, yet strangely the girls have not really played in it. The amount of work that went into to it against its useage makes it useless in my opinion.
3) Who would your ideal date be, if you could switch such a thing?
Without a doubt Katie Perry, gorgeous, talented and wild. Enough said!
4) What’s the sexiest item of clothing you own. The one that makes you feel shminky.
This is aimed at the ladies that are tagged I presume. I’ve never felt sexy in anything, nor would want to. However, I ‘feel good’ when dressed in my three piece suit.
5) And the least?
Again, see the answer above. I would imagine I look most unattractive when in my running gear all sweaty and hot.
6) If you could only follow one person on Twitter who would it be?
Wow! Good question this. I like following lots of people, yet the one that makes me laugh the most and would win this title would be @DarthMeerkat. He posts some really funny jokes that make laugh.
7) Do you have a pet name for your other half’s bits, or for the men, your own penis, if so what?
Sorry, no nickname. I do remember however when finding out my wife was pregnant shouting down the street. “I’m not a jaffa”! Does that count?
8) In 5 words describe your mum
Bonkers, demanding, loving, high maintainence, hyper.
9) Best place you’ve ever been on a holiday type thing
On our honeymoon to USA. Started in San Francisco, drove down Route One (seriously recommend this) to Los Angeles. Went to Disneyland, then finished the holiday off in San Diego. Awesome! Love America and want to go back.
10) Have you ever been to Belgium?
11) If your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. Then what flavour would you milkshake be?
Change boys for girls, and the flavour would be Strawberry, sweet and intoxicating.
12) Which newsreader is, as one might say, a bit of alright?
Mary Nightingale – ITV – swoon!
1) What is your nickname and why?
2) If you could be cooked the perfect meal what would it be?
3) I love reading. What’s your favourite book?
4) If you could write your own epitaph what would it be?
5) Name a film which title describes you best.
6) If you had a choice where would you live and why?
7) Lager or bitter?
8) What is your favourite boardgame?
9) What is your best childhood memory?
10) What was the most embarrassing thing you did at High School?
11) What would your super power be?
12) Which famous person irritates you the most, why, and how would you ‘dispose’ of them?
Really enjoyed this challenge today. Hope my meme has lived up to expectations, apart from not enough people tagged! Of my tagged fellow bloggers, please let me know if you manage to complete the challenge! I look forward to reading your answers!
After the first installment into The Bandit’s life : My Firsts, the follow up is a little more detail into what I enjoy doing. Firstly, and most importantly, that is of course spending time with my family, yet there are quite a few other interests that keep me going. As a PE teacher, you can imagine I am a little competitive and love sport. I must add here I am not the PE teacher type described so brilliantly by @crapteacher in this blog post This Sporting Life
Now that you have got that image of a PE teacher out of your mind, I will press on and give you more of an insight into my hobbies and fav things. Please feel free to comment on the blog and let me know via my twitter account if you try something the same.
I am relatively new to this blogging lark and am finding my feet with what to blog and how I hit an audience, so please any feedback helps.
Let’s start with the sport, as a keen performer there is nothing better for me than playing. So…..
My Favourite Sport
Without doubt is football. I have played competitively since I was 9 years old, representing my town at a young age and was lucky enough to play semi-professionally too. Whilst playing is my passion since the birth of my two daughters I have stopped the competitive games on a weekend. To keep me interested I began doing my coaching badges and successfully got my Level 2 and then UEFA B badges. Fortunately this led me to managing the South Yorkshire U16 squad for 3 years and then even better to coach the U10 Academy teams at Sheffield United, something I thoroughly enjoyed and only stopped due to a promotion in my teaching career. I have also taken up refereeing which may be a future blog! Depending on how well it goes of course.
Coming up strongly behind football at the moment is golf. I love the sport and can see me playing it more than football soon. Please read my other golfing blogs for more details.
My Favourite Book
One of my favourite hobbies is reading. It allows me to relax on an evening after work and there is nothing better than being totally engrossed in a good book. I like a good crime thriller, or something that is fast paced. My favourite book though is The Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown. It took me about a day and a half to read and I thought it was superb!
My Favourite Film
I also enjoy going to the cinema but don’t get the chance as much now with the kids. There have been loads of films that I have thought are brilliant over the years Silence of the Lambs, The Matrix, Die Hard, Mission:Impossible, yet my favourite film of all time has to be The Shawshank Redemption I remember watching it for the first time at university and loved it. It will still be a classic in years to come.
My Favourite Place to Visit
This has to be a little fishing, seaside town in Cornwall, called Looe. We’ve been on holiday there a few times and I just love everything about it. Its quaintness, its shops, its beach, the list is endless. I strongly recommend a visit!
My Favourite Golf Course (I’ve Played)
This is easy, whilst there have been some great courses I have played in my relatively short golf career there was only one course that took my breath away and made me so excited to play each and every hole. Including a monster near 700 yard par 5 and the elevated tee 17th with a green that is an island. The course is Rufford Park and Country Club, just near Centre Parks in Notts. Truely great and well worth a round if you can.
My Favourite Golf Course (Yet to Play)
There is only one. Pebble Beach in USA. Simply breath-taking, I wish and hope I can play there in the future, yet I doubt it, unless I win a boat load of cash! Or even better still I get on the PGA Tour!
My Favourite Horse
As an avid horse racing fan I have to include this. Everyone who enjoys a flutter will have a favourite horse that they always follow, even if it’s 100-1 they will still bet on it. Mine has to be INGLIS DREVER, a fantastic staying hurdler that won two World Hurdle’s at Cheltenham and was the real staying champ prior to BIG BUCKS. It’s a shame old Inglis had to be retired before Big Bucks came on the scene, as I’m sure he would have given Big Bucks something to worry about. After his retirement and being put out to field, having a cosy life, he unfortunately died. A great horse, and always will be my fav.
Finally, for this little chapter in The Bandit’s life is My Favourite Moment in Life
Quite obvious really for me. The birth of my two girls who are quite simply angels sent from heaven. They mean the world to me and I can’t describe my love for them. Being a father is the greatest thing a man can ask for!
So, Ive dreamt of this many a time. Those six little numbers come up and you win a cool few million. This is a life changing experience beyond doubt, but surely there would be added stresses too?
So it got me thinking, if I did win the lottery what the hell would I spend it on. Some of you may agree with me, some of you may not. Have a think about it yourself if you get a minute – if you had a boat load of money what really would you buy?
This is my lottery list! However, first of all I have found a photo of what I would do if I found out I had won the lottery. I think it says it all!
#1 – pay off my mortgage and my family’s too
#2 – give my closest friends a little suprise
#3 – buy myself an Aston Martin Vanquish
#4 – buy a racehorse
#5 – buy a tailored Armani suit
#6 – go to Chichen Itza!
#7 – give some money to Charities that are close to my heart
#8 – buy a house in Florida
And if I had anything left – become a member at Hallamshire Golf Club!!!!
Of course I would still go to work! I think I would be a complete nightmare with nothing to do each day. Plus, I really do love my job. I be some of you think I’m bonkers!
Please have a go yourself and let me know via my twitter account of your blog.
SAHDandproud has come up with a novel idea to get people to blog in 80 words or less about places they’ve been to, and liked, or hated. Talk about your town, a city, a holiday or a famous place. I thought it was a great idea, I hope you do it too.
The Bandit’s time to give it a go! With a short spell in San Francisco!
Rejoice the Bay, home of the gay? For me it was merely a short stay. The morning brought the fog and a headache from the grog, yet as both were Iifted so was my desire to see a place I’d longed to visit. Home of the Birdman, a place of no escape, Alcatraz, the prison. At last a chance to visit, but no chance of a ticket! All booked up until past my visit!
I thought I’d start a series of blogs that reflect things I’ve done, want to do, enjoy etc. A little bit more of The Bandit lets say. So, after reading a few other blogs of a similar nature I thought I would kick this off with My Firsts. So here we go, hope you enjoy and maybe you would want to do the same.
Here I think the picture gives it away. The first movie I remember seeing as a child was Star Wars. This wasn’t a the cinema however, but I remember watching it on a Boxing Day as a young child. I’ve been transfixed with Star Wars since!
My first…….Trip to the cinema
This was to the old cinema complex in Burnley, near the covered market. What a crappy cinema that was. The film was He-Man: Masters of the Universe with Dolph Lundgren. As a child I had everything He-Man, and loved my Castle Greyskull toy! The film lets say was…..interesting!
This was as a child when I joined my local library and I loaned out The Famous Five : Five on A Treasure Island. From that moment on I was hooked on books and read all The Famous Five books. I am now an avid reader and love nothing better than a good book. Interestingly I’m now reading Five on a Treasure Island to my daughter who’s 5, and she loves it!
As a follower of horse racing and liking a good flutter I remember my first bet well. It was in th Grand National won by West Tip. How do I remember, I had the 100-1 second that day called Young Driver. The maiden name (Driver) of my mother, imagine how rich I felt as a kid getting my winnings back on a £1 each way bet on it! Amazingly, I asked my daughter to pick a horse two years ago in the National, she liked one with a green jacket, so I put her a £1 each way bet on Mon Mome – and you know what happened there!
My first…..Football Match
I played for Ightenhil Primary School aged 9 in a five a side competition aganst other schools on a freezing and muddy day. The ball was a size 3 and like a bloody rock! I remember being freezing and wet, yet loving every minute of it! From there I went on to play every week from 11 years old.
My first…..Golf clubs
I decided to take up golf as a 13 year old and opened the local paper and went to the advertisement section where people sold various items. Sure enough there was a set for £15. Two old ‘wooden’ woods, a 4,5,8,9 iron and a putter. I felt like Nick Faldo at that point and used to catch a bus into Burnley Town Centre, walk two miles to a little 9 hole course and have a game then walk and bus back. I loved it and still love it now, although I have some great Nike clubs now and am a ‘little’ better!
My first…..Hole In One
Im still blooming waiting…….. and what makes it worse is my wife has had one!
Hope you enjoyed My First’s, next time we will go for My Favourite’s
I have worked in a few schools in my time as a teacher and been to the normal sit down bog standard boring Christmas meals – in a word they’re crap and expensive.
My current school does a totally different slant on Christmas parties. Each year the organiser, one of the PE department, chooses a theme and every department in the school dresses up and does a sketch on that theme. Past parties have been THE TITANIC, PHOENIX NIGHTS, NIGHT AT THE MOVIES, GANGS OF NEW YORK to name a few.
This year was the Romans – enter loads of acts and staff dressed up all for a fee of £2 each to hire the venue. People turned up as gladiators, as warriors, and senators with their togas. We also had foes of rome including the Languages department as Atilla and his Huns and a guest appearance by Genghis Khan!! D&T brought Cleopatra back from Egypt, Science were the ‘Gods’ and we had a Roman Shhoting Stars act to name a few acts. The night was rounded of by our Admin team doing an Up Pompeii sketch.
Each year departments turn out great acts and fun is had by all including the disco at the end of the night, last year was won by the Senior Management Team who also actively take part in acts every year. The bursar this year decided to come as ‘Biggus Dickus’ of Monty Python fame, and I swear it was the Graham Chapman, he had it off to a tee. Our head was caesar for the evening who voted each act with a thumbs up and freedom or a thumbs down and fed to the lion ( a paper mache head built by the art department ). All this performed on stage surrounded by props and backdrops made by the DT department. The evening was brought to a close by our Science technician or DJ as he was for the night after a couple of hours of partying Roman style.
I still can’t believe we pull off bigger and better events each year but we do, and it’s a whole staff event. So, next time you think what shall we do for our Christmas party this year, then why not try a theme night. Trust me, they work and they are awesome!
I can’t believe how TV on a Saturday night had diminished into what seems an eternity of celeb status bollocks! Turn on BBC on a Satruday and you’re faced with what feels like hours of sad two bit, past it, celebrities dancing. I mean, I remember as a kid they tried to show ‘Come Dancing’ on TV and soon realised it was a pile of shite and no-one was bothered about it. Yet add some celebs and suddenly it’s a hit?
What happened to programmes aimed at blokes – Airwolf, A-Team, The Fall Guy, Dukes of Hazzard to name a few beauts from my youth. The problem is that you can’t turn over as ITV have 6 hours of trash, starting with XFactor. Seriously what is X about it, none of them can sing, once the show has finished nobody remembers them, yet thousands watch it. Then you have a further hour or two of I’m a Celeb, given, Ant and Dec try their best to brighten this up, but who honestly gives a shit about Sinitta being scared of insects. She sung a shit, cheesy song about twenty years ago, end of!
The answer – WOMEN! All TV bosses are creating these shows as they know women will chat, txt, email, blog, tweet and everything else possible about this celeb shit. Why, ‘cos all they want to be is a touch away from celebdom themselves, that’s why those ridiculous magazines sell bucket loads every week. The male world appreciate good programmes for what they are, talk about them over a beer and remember them always. – “Aint getting on no plane, you crazy fool!”
I need to make a stand now and ask every other man out there to stand up to this trash too, we deserve better, don’t forget the heydays of Baywatch, that shaped many of our futures. Please TV bosses, enough of this celeb crap, give us violence, humour, bikini’s and guns, oh and of course a gorgoeus female lead to whet our appetite!
It has been a few years since I last visited Blackpool. I have fond childhood memories of donkey rides, rock and Joke Shops, so the thought of a weekend in a caravan brought some excitement. My two daughters were over the moon.
The caravan site was in a small village outside of the ‘pool, it was very nice and the caravan itself was great, the girls loved having their own room.
A great start to the weekend, what a good idea this was I thought. The issues of course arose on Saturday itself as we ventured into Blackpool itself. Firstly it appeared that everyone north of Birmingham had decided today was the day they toO would pay a visit to this seaside haven of the north. So after driving round for an hour and burning half a tank of priceless petrol we found a spot in a car park. Then I noticed it, we appeared to be in the middle of a freak convention.
Middle aged women on a hen do, with mini skirts and knee length boots all pissed and swearing.
Cross dressing blokes
Toothless, job less, brain less louts
These to name a few! My immediate thought was to protect my kids from these sites and run away!
However, my nostalgia took over and we ventured towards the beach and a donkey ride. The girls loved it and I had solidified some of my faith to bring a family to Blackpool. With a restored spring in my step we headed off for some lunch and catastrophe!
A family of four with a combined IQ of 6 and a dress sense combining The Rocky Horror Show and Brookside walked by us at the tower. The resulting couple of minutes made my mind up to return to the leafy surroundings of the caravan site, as mum and then son looked up at the tower with an expression of shock on their faces as if the tower was some kind of phallic substitute. They then decided in a flurry of grunts and expletives at te top of their voices that it was worthy of a photo and spent the next five minutes taking numerous photos. Nothing that special I hear you say except that they had blocked the entire path with their ‘sketch’ and prevented the combined masses of freaks and normal people from getting their own glimpse of the tower, and due to work going on meant everyone had to spill into the road to meanouvre past these idiots.
A swift exit via a bit of fun penny pushing in the excellent Coral Island brought an end our briefest of visit to the self proclaimed VEGAS OF THE NORTH.
I would go back despite of all this, but would ensure the comedy roadshow wasn’t going to descend on the town too.
My tip APPROACH WITH CAUTION.